Unspoken Part 2...

"Unspoken Part 2" is a second version of Karan's blog http://faithlessfreak.blogspot.com/. He inspired me to write my version...

K: " Hey i am sorry .. but are you there??"
(Pause)

A: " Yup" ( omg..its him …!!! )

K: " I know all the things about us not talking any more and stuff but..."

A: " Go on" ( Why do you have to remind me??? Don’t you get it how difficult it was to take that decision…the decision of NOT talking to you….)

K: " Did you go for it? How was "Her" wedding?"

A: " It was Lovely ... i wouldnt miss it for the world, are you in " Her" friend list...ill soon post some pictures there... is that ok,"( You better see it…I look pretty enough to make you regret having kicked me out of your life…)

K: "that will be great... thanks...i wanted to come ... but... you know....?"

A: " i know ... " ( reasons, reasons and reasons….you were always ready with them……Like I care anymore…Do I????)

(Pause)

A: " Hey, Heard you are working for NDTV now... congratulation.. must be swell"

K: " Yah NDTV Imagine ... do you know, i am officially a director now..." ( !!!! )

A: " Ahhh nice... congrats Oh i am a news reader for 5 Metro... Should start sometime in March...
K: "ahhh nice... congratulations.. We both achieved what we set out for... a promise made to each other one sunny afternoon in college... is finally realized" Damn neat will see you on tv.. soon... wont i...??"

A: "Hopefully.. but i am trying to see if i can make it to NDTV here or in Delhi.. " ( Im glad you remember atleast one of the FAKE PROMISES you made)

K: You are not trying.. bombay??"

A: No not bombay...dont like the place...( With you living there I definitely wont … I bet he thinks I’ll ask for help)

K: Is it the place or... Dont worry i wont bump into you???

A: " LOL, aint my worry... will sock you if i see you!!!"

K : " I dont make you cry... i never did"
(Pause)
A: "Sure you dont... ne ways id love to stay and talk but...but i cant" ( I hate you as much as I loved you)

K: " yah i understand"

A: "Sorry 'K' " ( did I really have to be apologetic???...)

K: " Later...”

A: " Not later as well 'K' " ( how I wish I’ did never had this convo with you…but I’ll make sure I never do so again…!!!)

K: As in yah... i got that...

A: " I cant have us talking... hope you understand" ( Hope you realize how I felt when you said the same statement pierced right through my heart 5 yrs back…)

K: " Like i told you i dont care

A: " I cant say much....( You are the same..MEAN as you were that day…)

K: " i just wanted to know abt the wedding so i pinged
i dont wanna know.. i am not asking"

A: " Sorry then,,, may be someday.. try not to hate me and someday..." ( I tried not to hate you …but I failed..)

K: "we dont sock each other when we meet.. thats good enough for me...why u beeing sorry...i understand...and i dont hate you"

A: " lol... i aint.. been sorry im sayn im sorry for cutn the conversation shot now
its pretty childish but i cant help it" ( how does your medicine taste in your own mouth)

K: " I said i understand"

A:" maybe sumday ill contact u my self... and see if you are willing to be socked ... till then ta... " ( Hell yeah ,, Im waiting for that day …)

K: " Have a good life A...may you get all that you wish for...

A: lol hopefully ( Yet another fake side of yours)

K: Adios.. it was nice knowing you

A: You az well.. K take care ( I really don’t mean that…or do I???..)

K: " thanks TC"
A:- Bye ( IF ONLY YOU HAD KNOWN HOW DIFFICULT IT HAD BEEN FOR ME ON THE 14TH DECEMBER 2004 TO HAVE LET YOU GO…CAFÉ COFFEE DAY,CONNAUGHT PLACE,NEW DELHI..YOU WALKED AWAY AND THERE I WAS STARING AT MY LIFE ..MY LIFE THAT FOLLOWED NO PATH…A DEAD END..THERE I WAS….( sob)

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Tests of Life...

(i found him veryy cute)

Here I am standing in the path of life looking at the reflection of myself and trying to figure out how to pass the various tests that walk my path ...

Every now and then people around me have masks on their face and have draped the costume of fakeness...its beyond my understanding how to deal with such individuals and situations.

The situations around me, the people, the atmosphere everything has just crossed the brim and level of understanding so much so that I wish to flee away to a world that withstands all this...

Its been 19 yrs of my life and I still have to prove my worth to many...unfortunately even to those who are close to me....

A confused gal like me nowdays depends on Astrology.com for answers to life and hope for all the motivating horoscopes to turn into reality...

But 1 thing that bloomed out from this entire pool of mud was my decision to start writing a book...

As of now I still ask myself
When will life stop testing me?When will the outcome show its colors? When will I reach the path of serenity?


Until then

Adios

It feels different, It feels Good!!

A month and a half and thanks to my buzy, hectic, stresseful, tiring schedule that I was unable to post an entry on not4 glibbers.... Im just at my initial stages of realising what it takes to be a Media student specially a TV student...

A roller coaster of emotions and yet another phase is all that has engulfed me this entire month and Im glad that now the ride has smoothened and its back to a safe drive from a roller coaster one...

Back to TV:

Myth- loads of fun, exciting work schedule

Reality- loads of work, loads of assignments, shitty deadlines

But im loving it anyways cos its an amazing experience and a lot to learn from...now I know how to operate a full HD camera along with a tripod and do post production as well....:D

Back to life:

The past 2 years in college have taught me so much that I can regard myself capable enough to write a thesis on human emotions and behaviour...all those who have or once upon a time had been a part and parcel of my world have definitely taught me the true realms of life and least did they realise that in their attempt to do so I took the efforts to understand those who were never noticed by me or who I personally considered as underdogs.

I met individuals...a guy lost in love, a girl with a broken heart, but saw a "Friend" in them. Their walk of life and mine were different but merged to the same destiny and that was understanding and a ray of hope that one day reality will frame the way we want to See it.

Ive been there and done all and when I see them I see "me" ( an individual who was like them at a certain point in life but has changed to see and experience the better episodes of life) and the present "me" aims to change the "me" I see in them.

My friend wrote a blog on how the world hurts you and how you should forgive them.

"Forgive" & "Forget" are 2 key principles of life...

but in my opinion "Forgive" & "Remember "so that the next time you are hurt you would remember that you forgave the wrong person and that your life could be a lot more jocular and ecstatic without them.

Im still in the learning process and I have a lot more to assimilate from the world around me...

So everytime I do so, I will come up with yet another post ...

Until then

Adios

You Know You're From Delhi When...

SO TRUE!!! IVE BEEN THERE & DONE MOST OF THE THINGS..:p:p

1. You have faced power-cuts up to 10hours a day!And yet, its no big deal for you.

2. Even though the hottest party spot/pub in town says "Admit Over 18, Drinks over 25" You have been inside and have enjoyed a beer, being underage.

3. Living in the most posh colonies, you get to hear, "Aloo, Bhindi Pyaaz, Tamatar le loo"... And you hear women asking the vegetable vendor "Bhaiyaa aapne free dhaniya nehi diya!" [Even with Half a kilo Carrot]

4. You have Driven rash and Broken Signals more times than you can count. Doesnt matter whether you have a license or not. :P

5. Every teenager knows atleast one "ghunda" on whose name he can jump around all day.

6. You have seen your relative or family member bribing a policeman at-least once.

7. You have been to Big Chill at-least once.

8. When a car accident occurs, instead of solving the problem quietly, either one of the drivers would start with.. "B******, meri gadi maar di, ab tu ruk, mein teri marta hoon" or something kinda.

9. In the 90's you have been to India Gate and around 2000-2002 you have been to Ansal Plaza more times than you can count.!

10. Mocha,CCD,Barista,Hookah,24x7 are like your favorite hangouts.

11. You just love socializing.

12. You speak or hear the word "setting" or "jugad" at-least once a day.

13. When you stare at a school bus, you see students talking of the phone, care free OR Chilling out listening songs on the Ipod. :P

14. A meter working in a Auto - Miracle! And hear statements like..# Gas nahi hai# Gaadi waapis dene ka time ho gaya# Wahan se waapis ki sawaari nahi milti# Wahan jaam (traffic jam) mein kaun fasega

15. All guys have at-least been to Pallika bazar and they all know why. Well, even the girls are starting now.

16. This is the place when you actually feel like slapping the same traffic policeman who caught you yesterday... Because today he's on his bike without a helmet or talking on the phone...

17. Qutub Minar, Red Fort, Lotus Temple are just for tourist. You havnt been to more than two of these.

18. You are bored of looking at the LONG queues at the CNG stations! And yeah. It add's up to the traffic.

19. You have an example of Delhi being unsafe for women after Midnight. And now even for men.

20. You wont be surprised if you find some old lady bargaining at a SALE.

21. Young or Old, You have played street football in the rains and have ended up breaking some glass. :P

22. You first abused real bad when you were around 10 years old.

23. Your Dad's really good friends with at least one Public Figure.

24. Library is virtually non-existent unless you go to British council or American Library or Max Mueller Bhavan

25. Deepavali means every house is illuminated to such an extent that you wonder if its a competition of illlumination and cracker bursting is so continuous that it is diffiult to imagine one moment of silence on Diwali.

26. You have had the most RANDOM plans. Like reaching for a movie show which starts at 1pm, at 12:55pm and just hoping that gods left some tickets for you and your friends.

27. You have been warned by your parents at-least once that going at public places like Malls, isnt safe, Cuz there might just a BOMB in that place.

28. You've had a ride on the cycle rickshaw - have haggled over the price but pity the rickshaw wallas' condition.

29. You glare at people who call Gol-Guppa's- Pani Puri!And you always ask the vendor "Bhaiya yeh Gol-Guppe Aate ki hai ya Sooji ke?"

30. If in school, Your conti got busted by cops, teachers or a combination of both.

31. You've had school cancelled due to cold, summer vacations preponed due to heat and have atleast thrice evacuated your school building after tremors.

32. You've hit 120 kmph at Nelson Mandela Marg.And after crossing it, you might end up saying " FEEL AA GAYE". OR, You have raced up the DND and taken the U turn back.

33. You have been to a wedding in a Mehrauli farmhouse and have hit Nasha later on.

34. You have taken the 10 rupee Call Center cab/ Qualis from anywhere to Gurgaon/Noida.

35. You have seen a child with crutches begging on the Red Light RUN fast when the light turns green!

36. Almost every Delhi-ite understands Punjabi to an extent. May he belong to any region. P

37. You call the waiter in the restaurant "boss" & tack on "yaar"/ "bhai" to almost every sentence.

38. Gulati has got better chicken than Taj. :P You've atleast tried it once! And you just might see a BMW, a Porsche OR a Peugeot parked outside it!

39. You have surely heard of "Chor Bazar" but never been there.

40. You use the word and have described practically every other person on the planet as "Vella".

41. 'KAROBAR' = 'Car-O-Bar' i.e. drinking in the car....Hell yeah! thats what we live for! :P

42. You often see Middle Aged Aunties wearing Gucci shades and holding LV bags having Gol-Gappas in GK (Near Prince Pan) or Bhelpuri in South Ex along with Diet Coke !

43. Miranda house and CJM are two places where u'll see people from different school/colleges hang out.

44. In the 90s, movie at Chankaya, momos at Yashwant Place and Hot Choc Fudge at Nirula's = ULTIMATE Fun.

45. School students here, have gone to school, soo early in the morning, it being Dark!..REAL Dark And you've attended those 3am GROUP tuition's during your boards!Haha.. Spookky! Lol.

46. Almost every Delhite has witnessed a DTC bus brawl turning into street fight.. Yet fun! OR the DTC bus overspeeding/breaking traffic rules/ or disc breaking.

47. You have probably been to Gurudwara Bangla Sahib @ 4 in the morning. Or even at 6 'cuz you were out on a day-bunk!

48. When everyone from the Auto Driver, Vegetable Vendor, Grocery Store guy, Watch-man, Salesperson to just any 'guy' is referred to here as 'Bhaiya'

49. You refer to East Delhi as Jamuna ke Us Paar.

50. You refer to AIIMS as Medical.

51. You dont buy tickets for a music concert or cricket match, but try to take the help of your friend's Dad, who happens to be the PA to the under secretary of the deputy secretary of the chief secretary of the Minister of State for Khadi.

52. You overtake everyone from the wrong side and stare into his/her eyes while doing so.

53. You call Gurgaon & NOIDA as illegitimate cousins of Delhi!

54. Most of you have at least two cars; your drivers have scooters and mobiles.

55. As soon someone tells you abut an important political development, you whip out your mobile and whisper into it as if you have access to the Prime Minister's OFFICE!

56. You know that a famhouse has nothing to do with cattle or farming.

57. You used "contacts" for everything, from getting movie tickets to restaurant bookings to playschool admissions.

58. You didn't find 'Monsoon Wedding' funny. And Laughed your ass off when you watched 'Dilli 6'

59. You've probably used the word 'Tota' to describe ANY Random-Hot-Chick that just passed by! 'Phew!

60. You have had Anda parantha outside Vikram hotel and Bun Omelet at Dhaula Kuan at least once!

61. When Aunties go to drop their kids to the Bus-Stop in a Night Gown with a Duppatta.

62. When you think EVERY South Indian comes from 'Madras'. No Offense.

63. When you have an uncle in every SARKARI department!

64. When If your side of the road has a traffic jam, then you start driving on the wrong side of the road.

65. You think If there is a queue of many people, no one will notice me sneaking into the front as long as I am looking the other way.

66. You feel, If I indicate which way I am going to turn my vehicle, it is an information security leak.

67. When the only time you went to the Chidiya Ghar (Zoo) was on a school picnic.

68. One of your favorite yummiest ice-creams was "ORANGE - BAR"

69. You have been stuck in 'Nariana' due to the traffic for over 4 hours! 'Phew!

70. When you feel lucky enough to have around 10 LOCAL FM STATIONS! Woho.!

71. When you wonder... 'Ki Delhi Mein passes chapwane ki kya zarurat hai? Yahan Sab to VVIP hai!'

72. Almost anyone exept a Delhi-ite is a "Chutiya".

73. DESPITE of all the goods and bads. You still Love Delhi. =]

Sorry

Sometimes apologizing doesn`t mean that you are wrong and the other is right.

It only means that you value the relationship much more than your ego!

Expectations

Majority of this world lives on "EXPECTATIONS" and most of the times it ends up in sheer disappointment..

Im sure many of us have faced such a kind of situation many a times but alas we just cant stop Expecting..

Parents have expectations from their children, A girl friend has expectations from her boyfriend and vice versa, the public of a Nation has expectations from its leaders etc etc

Life is so constructed that an event will not ever match the expectations...You cant move on until you have no Expectations but I think you should never idealise others cause they never live up to your expectations.

Live your life for each and everyday, the less you expect, the less you are disappointed and unhappy.

According to me expectations take you away from Reality...

Cmon people wake up, face the reality...the reality is that no one actually cares for what you're expecting and everyone lives for themselves....

How often have your expectations not led you to the road of disappointment?

Im sure many of us have been through that path...

Honestly keep expectations with Yourself because at the end of it you would work towards fulfilling those expectations and not disappoint yourself...

Expect the unexpected...

Adios

How I Wonder What We Are...

I was having a convo with a blog buddy where she mentioned having the wrong people in her walk of life at all times. Due to constraints in time I was unable to express my stance on this issue, so what better than my own blog that can help me articulate what I feel on her viewpoint.

Indeed it isnt only her alone but like her many of us have faced this situation most of the times when the closest individual in our life, after a certain episode turns out to be a complete stranger. Thats when emotions like betrayal, faithlessness, insecurity, hatred etc engulf us and make it impossible to rise again.

People play different roles in your life and each being gives you a jist on the experience of life- either something that you can learn from or something that you can follow. But somewhere deep down WE have forgotten OUR role in OUR OWN life. Certain individuals step into our lives only because we want them to.

I've had many people walk in and out of my life and as time flew by I realised that none of them were capable enough or rather deserving enough to be a part of my life except the ones who are close and dear to me ( and I have a very few of them who Im proud to associate as very close to me.

It takes few days or maybe many years to judge a person.

Recently a very close friend of mine, Ram, went through a major break up after 3 years of a Serious and Commited relationshipbut alas it took him 3 long years to comprehend the fact that his partner was a joke and that he ruined these precious years in life. And while trying to set things right in his relation he lost himself in the midst of nothing but fake love and along with that lost out on the essence of life.

Every person teaches you something and so did he learn quite a lot from his gravest mistake.

The reason behind quoting this incident above is just to prove that everyone has been through the phase of having "undesirable people" in their lives.

But it is contingent on you whether you want to fall and rise and face the new world again with a bright new start. Past is history and history repeats itself but only when you want it to. A person in your life can be a stepping stone to success or a complete barrier that you are unaware of. A barrier means riddance and riddance means new beginning.

Do not cling on to the barrier because at the spur of the moment the barrier may feel an important part in your life and a sense of incompleteness deluges you but once you let go a sense of satisfaction accompanies you throughout your life.

Im sure Ram would feel a lot better in the near future after having let go off his mistake (NAFISA :S:S) and a few years down the lane will laugh over this incident and would thank all possible people help him get out of this miserable phase....

As far as my blog buddy is concerned "Fall & Rise" is the motto you should follow.

Not everyone is amateurish it just depends on who you want to choose appropriate to complete your walk of life....

Never lose hope...I learnt it from all the experiences I had in my life..:)

adios

Just when I think Im done...

I was pelting blindly and hysterically almost panting to death...It was following me...

WHO???

My Problems but least did I know that my problems were a part of me..they were my shadow and its impossible to get rid of your own shadow...so then I stopped, scrutinised and comprehended that Just when I think Im done dealing with all the episodes that had hassles as climax in my life , a new one would just pop in, in some form or another.

How could I get rid of this?

Simple Answer- I CANT

No, but im not complaining because each problem that transpired in my life made me stumble on a new set of convictions about life as an end itself, about how callous individuals are and about the biased world we live in.

If you go to see no one but you is accountable for the problems you face...and I say this through personal experience...

The world is harsh and resentful..everyone's is pretentious and want to achieve their so called success by backstabbing individuals who once upon a time were ready to renounce their world for them...CHEAP is too small a word to describe what I feel about such breed of people ( and yes here I use the word breed because they arent less than dogs who are vicious and barbaric)

What I've perceived out of all the worldliness is the fact that if you got to survive in this world you have to be like them... You have to beat them in their own game and thats the only way to get to the top where you actually see yourself.

Recently I lost my temper on an issue but thanks to all the close and dear ones who I feel proud to call as my friends (very few of them but the best that I have got) that I understood the GAME OF SURVIVAL!!!

I feel sad to play this game and so do all my true friends because of the ethnicity we have been brought up in but hell yeah this is the only option to be where you want to be. The more you act goody goody the more the world takes advantage of you...so Play it and Win it!!!

Until then

Adios

What is it?

There are times when you tend to ask yourself so many questions but all seem to be unanswered...why does this happen?

Is it because you really have no answer to it or is it because you really cant accept the reality which lies in those answers...

No answers No solutions..where am I heading? what am I doing? Am I even heading on the right path? Where am I ?

Where am I?

Down the lane when I walk, hundreds of people surround me and yet I feel lost...is it because I want to feel that way or is it because Im forced to feel that way...

What is it?

Restless nights wake me up and there I am sitting blank engulfed with a sense of incompleteness? a sense of regret? a sense of loss?

What is it?

Each day I look at you I feel the sense of pain...is it because of the feelings I have for you or is it because of the guilt that I lost you...

What is it?

When I want to step into the future I just cant seem to...is it because Im afraid or is it because there is a dead end?

What is it?

Inspite of moving on with life I feel my past holding onto me...is it because I dont want to let go or is it because it was too good to be forgotten?

What is it?

Questions, questions and so many questions...all seem to have no answers..

What is it?

Oh make me understand the inner me, Oh make me change my mind...!!

Let me move on and never look behind...

Life takes turns...

Well well well....few weeks back I thought I would stop blogging but thanks to the Multimedia Blogging Seminar that is going to take next week I decided I would continue blogging...

Why did I think of discontinuing blogging???

Well there werent 1 but many reasons

Anyways coming back to the topic LIFE TAKES TURNS....

In my case you could say too many turns..:)

Life is more like a race track where the racer awaits every turn and what beholds after each one of them... either its successfully crossing them or death!!

Life is a Bed of Roses..Who says so?? Yes, it is a bed of roses and roses obviously come with thorns...And these thorns are waiting to poke and test us! Even the luckiest of people do not have a perfectly ordained life, devoid of personal upheavals and tragedies.

When you think you have set your goals right something or someone eventually forces you to think yet again whether the priorities you have set up are actually right or not...In my case my priorities were completely different until a few days back when life took such a turn that I comprehended that I had taken the wrong path...

I had lost myself in the race of achieving something that wasnt meant for me...or rather something that I thought was meant for me but unfortunately I was erroneous...

People learn from their mistakes and Im learning from mine too...:)

Different turns in life teach you different lessons...So wait for each turn cos you will definitely learn something from them...

Until the next blog..

Adios

TIME QUERY

"You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future"

This is one quote which im sure most of us would agree to...The past is unrequited. Most of us probably suffer a delirious state of mind just thinking about the future least realising the very importance of what we are losing out on in the present. Why do each one of us want to be pretentious? Why arent we satisfied with all that we have??

Keeping n mind the future, Some want more money, some want piece of mind, some want to spend eternal time with their lovers...what on earth happened to the Present?? Where did the Present disappear???Are we stuck with the past memories or are we stil thinking about our future dreams??

All im trying to say here is that our thoughts about our past and future have eventually made us forget the beauty of the present. Our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow. You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave and find your eternity in each moment.

“The meeting of two eternities, the past and future....is precisely the present moment.”

Personally Ive started living in the present and stopped thinking about the future because its the Present that I have to be sure of in order to plan my future!!!

Adios

All Work & No Play Makes Jack Not Only A Dull Boy, But a Lonely Boy Too!!!

As the title suggests I'm sure many of you would have got a slight clue of where exactly my thoughts are pondering.

Here is a story. about a guy.. who once ran so fast that he left behind every one who loved him and cared for him. He ran so far that he ran ahead of him, he couldnt see him self run. The back of his shirt wet with sweat.. fluttering.. in the wind..was it worth running after that distant dream leaving everything that made him smile behind???

He lay down on his couch after a long hectic day of work and for once he decided to sit, relax and ponder over his past. While sipping a glass of whisky his thoughts flashed back to his college days.

Jack: Amber its high time I pull up my socks and start working hard to excel in college.

Amber: Happy Realisation!!!

Jack: No seriously this term I gotta prove myself worth to all those who think ill of me .

Amber: Sure jack Go Ahead!! Im always there for you.

Well it all started with this conversation. She was his life and his future wife. He decided to gear up in order to provide a happy and secure future for her. It was a year and few months that they had been dating and were happy and committed to each other. He could do anything for her.

The term began and there he was stressing himself with all the work pressure but he never gave up and just worked as hard as possible.

Day 1

Amber: Hey Jack r u free? Can v hang out 4 sometime?

Jack: Umm..ok but onli 4 sometime.

Day 2

Amber: R u free?

Jack: not really gme sometime ill get back 2 u asap ( tht asap never came)

Day3

Amber: *sigh* r u free?

Jack: No baby,I have loads of work.

Weeks passed by and the response Amber got everyday eventually frustrated her and tested her patience. Where was all the attention and the pampering she used to get from him, where was all the love that they had once shared, was it all disappearing??? Random thoughts ran in her mind day and night but she still kept her calm.

Term after Term ended and finally the big day came. The Graduation Day!!!

He graduated, She graduated!

Both wave good bye to each other making all the promises to stay in touch through regular mails or online conversations and frequent visits to each other.

Amber hopes that atleast now he would realise that life is not always about work and hopes that he would perhaps realise her existence.

But, alas she was right! Things didnt really change infact it became worse.

Amber ( calls from Cananda to US)- Hey Baby, how r u its been long since we spoke...didnt receive any call frm u either!!!

Jack: Sorry baby im caught up with work and I dnt really get the time for anything...sorry honey gtgo..have loads of work piled up..love u..."BEEP" "BEEP" "BEEP"!!!

After few weeks...

Amber: Hey Jack r u cmn 2 Canada to meet me in the near future?

Jack: Sorry Sweety wont be possible for another year now i have a lot of upcoming projects to deal with but dont worry will try to make it ASAP!!!!!!!!!! Bye sweety Love you..."BEEP"

"BEEP" "BEEP"

She sits staring at the phone... where is this heading? what is happening? Is this really him? Was this the guy who she really fell in love with???

Dad: Amber its high time you get married. I know a guy well settled in Canada who i'm sure would keep you happy and satisfied.

Amber: (thinks) and....... finally agrees!!!!!!!!!!

Amber calls jack but he doesnt answer the phone!!! Days and days pass by and the wedding day arrives. She gets married!!!

Jack: Amber where have u been all this while??? I've been trying to contact you since ages.Im planning to come to Canada!! Baby i missed u loads

Amber: its too late Jack!!

Jack: What do you mean?

Amber: Im married...I waited too long!!!

"BEEP" "BEEP "BEEP"

His drink is over .. tears flow like river... not only did he lose HER but all those who he once considered as a part of his life...his friends, his family...He was ALONE!!! Questions ran in his mind...Did he really deserve this? Where did he go wrong? Cant He get her back? Shit he missed Her!!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * **

At times you fail to realise the importance of who are close to you cos you have taken them for granted but WAIT and THINK before its too late...do they really deserve it...instead of they understanding you and co-operating with you try to understand them for once. Maybe all they need is just pure love, affection,attention and just sometime time to spend with you...Are they really asking for too much????

MAYBE

Here I am sitting all alone trying to make sense of what I actually feel now. I feel a staunch in my thought process. Everything seems so blurred and absurd. My heart and mind are playing games...the game of disagreeing with each other. At one time I want to forget the past but on the other hand just want to cling on to it. What is it ???

Maybe its the miles that are separating all of us, maybe it is the friends who have started to discriminate and have broken our hearts, maybe its the lack of understanding and emotions between the two of us, maybe its just the presence that still feels like absence, maybe its just not you and me anymore, maybe its just a story that has become so cold, maybe its the tears that just flow,maybe its the hardships of life, maybe the selfish attitude, maybe the misconceptions, maybe its expecting the unexpected, maybe its accepting the change in you, me and everyone, maybe its the strangeness in this world that goes on and on, maybe its the years that are just fading, maybe its the importance to ambition forgetting the importance of relation, maybe its forgiving the unforgiven, maybe its just not me, maybe its HARD CORE REALITY!!!

I always felt that I had the power to face the reality of life and accept the changes and at one point of time I did, but somehow it seems difficult to do so in the present scenario. Never have I felt the need to ask myself questions as to what I feel but why is it that it happens now, why is it that I feel unanswerable to myself. I dont know what emotions are ruling my mind, whether its love or hate, frienship or relationship, genuinity or fakeness....

I dont know whether what Ive written has a meaning or not but all I know is that they are FEELINGS UNTOLD to me by me!!!